"That Oxer Looked at Me Funny": Top 10 New Excuses for Refusals in 2025

By Tilly Stirrup

Ah, the dawn of a new season! The sun is out, the fences are fresh, and the riders, bless them, are still convinced they can absolutely stick to their new year’s resolutions of “clear rounds only” (spoiler: they won’t). But before you don your glitzy gloves and gallop into the competition, let’s face the inevitable: refusals. They’re like the horse equivalent of a bad hair day — but with more drama, more gasps, and a collective “Not again!” from the onlookers.

Yes, it’s 2025, darling, and there’s a new crop of creative excuses emerging faster than the first grass shoots. So, before you even step foot in the ring, here are the Top 10 New Excuses for Refusals This Season. Freshly minted, just for you.

1. “That oxer looked at me funny.”

Still a classic, but now with an added 2025 twist. Oxers have gotten sassier, and horses are starting to think they know they can’t be jumped. Absolutely Not Today, the magnificent gelding known for his aversion to conform, says:

“I swear that oxer just looked me up and down like I was some sort of pleb."

2. “I just wasn’t feeling the vibe of the new arena.”

It’s 2025, people! We have arena redesigns every season, and horses are now surprisingly particular about their footing.Max van Dijk, the show jumping king with the aesthetic eye of an interior designer, shrugs:

“We got new poles this year. Too fresh. He’s more of a ‘vintage wood’ kind of guy.”

3. “The photographer totally threw me off.”

Because obviously, a flashbulb in the corner of the arena can throw an equine athlete off

their game. Said the rider, after a rather dramatic stop,

“I swear, the camera guy moved... How am I supposed to jump knowing the photographer’s now in my spot?”

4. “My saddle was... off.”

A new 2025 excuse for horses everywhere. Gone are the days of blaming the rider’s bad position. Now, it’s all about the saddle. Max, looking highly doubtful, quips:

“Your saddle was just fine. It was a new one, but you can’t blame that for the refusal. Honestly, I don’t know why I keep working with this bunch.”

5. “There was an alien in the bushes.”

While some might call it an overactive imagination, others say it was a perfectly legitimate stop due to “extra-terrestrial disturbances.” Absolutely Not Today is convinced something was out there, but not quite sure what:

“A flash of green light. Could’ve been a UFO or just an overenthusiastic photographer. Either way, I wasn’t risking it.”

6. “The new horse boots are causing too much stress on my aura.”

In 2025, even horses are into energy healing. Those sparkly new boots? Not good for the horse’s chi, apparently.

“It’s the boots. Not the jump. I’m telling you, I can’t focus with all this glitter affecting my aura.”

7. “There was a weird shadow from the sun.”

Another favourite for 2025. Horses are becoming very discerning about their lighting.

“That shadow moved as soon as I was about to jump. It was practically taunting me. I wasn’t having it.”

8. “I’m just too emotionally drained from last season.”

We all know the mental toll that 2024 took on our horses. So why not take a mental health day in 2025?

“I’ve been through a lot. Can’t you just cut me some slack? I’m emotionally exhausted from last season. I did my best.”

9. “The crowd definitely cheered at the wrong time.”

The public, bless their hearts, just don’t get it. If they cheer while you’re coming into a line, that’s an instant refusal. Everyone knows that!

“The clap was too soon. My stride was all off, and then they all just screamed. What else was I supposed to do?”

10. “I’m an artiste. I don’t do what you want.”

A return to the dramatic arts of the dressage world, now infiltrating show jumping. Max van Dijk watches as another rider struggles with their rebellious mount:

“He’s in his creative phase. Apparently, today’s jump wasn’t ‘inspiring’ enough. Like I said, it’s a new season, with new problems.”

Bonus Excuse: “These abominable bit combinations are doing nothing for my self-esteem.”

Now let’s talk about the newest trend for 2025: bit combinations. Who knew that adding more metal and fancy gadgets to a horse’s face could result in less performance? From double-jointed snaffles to ultra-technical titanium bits, horses everywhere are asking why this is necessary. Max rolls his eyes:

“I swear, you’d think I was trying to ride a chariot with a war horse. They’re basically giving horses a whole new wardrobe for their mouths. My poor guy doesn’t know whether he’s supposed to do dressage or sign up for a medieval joust.” Meanwhile, Absolutely Not Today couldn't agree more, adding: “I mean, really? What’s next, a bit that doubles as a GPS? I’m just here for the carrots, thanks.”

There you have it, my dear readers! The 2025 excuses are out in full force, and it’s clear: this year, horses are going full diva. They’ve entered their artistic phase, they’ve got questionable energy healers, they’re blaming flashbulbs, shadows, and their own glittery boots, and now, they’re turning up their noses at the abominable bit combinations. All the more fun for the rest of us watching from the side-lines with a cold gin and tonic in hand.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go check on my own horse's ‘emotional state’ before I get up to show jumping drama this season.

Cheers to fabulous fences (and fabulous excuses)! 🥂🐎