Bloody Spurs and Bloody Sponsors: Showjumpers Caught Between Rules and Rage

The Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) is once again stuck between a rock and a hard place—or, in this case, between a sharp rowel and a welfare scandal. At the upcoming Global Equestrian Federation Transparency Shindig, the federations will debate whether stricter rules on spurs are the way forward or just another way to irritate both riders and sponsors alike.

The International Show jumping Riders’ Club for Fairness and Performance (ISR-CFP—because all good equestrian bodies need an impossible acronym) has proposed new guidelines aimed at regulating spur use. Among their more scientific recommendations is a ground breaking new “Blood Classification System”:

• Type 1 Blood – A microscopic speck, visible only to veterinarians with advanced forensic training. Does not count.

• Type 2 Blood – A faint smudge, detectable under arena floodlights. Possibly counts, depending on public outrage levels.

• Type 3 Blood – A proper trickle. Absolutely counts, but only if a spectator films it and posts it on TikTok.

• Type 4 Blood – The rider is probably already disqualified, the horse is considering legal action, and the sponsor is gone.
  

Dutch showjumper Max Van Dijk supports the new rules, saying, “Look, we all know spurs should be used correctly. But at least this system gives us a bit of, you know, flexibility. Otherwise, we’ll have people getting eliminated for a drop of sweat that looks like blood.”

However, California-based equestrian influencer Luna Skye is outraged, declaring, “ANY blood should be an automatic elimination. Actually, no, let me correct that—spurs should be banned entirely. Horses should be motivated by trust and positive energy, not medieval torture devices.” She then added, “Also, don’t forget to like and share my latest reel on how to train your horse using only affirmations and organic lavender oil.”

Meanwhile, legendary Australian coach Bruce “Bruiser” Callaghan is having none of it. “This generation wouldn’t know how to use spurs if their lives depended on it. Back in my day, you learned to use them properly, and if you didn’t, your coach made sure you regretted it. The problem isn’t the spurs—it’s the riders with spaghetti legs and no control.”

The GEF, as usual, is caught in a panic. On one hand, they can’t afford to lose riders in a mass boycott if the rule changes go too far/not far enough. On the other, sponsors are growing increasingly uncomfortable with viral videos of spur marks and blood spots. One anonymous GEF official confessed, “We don’t know what’s worse—top riders threatening to quit or the next #JusticeForDobbin scandal on social media. But since we can’t afford to lose sponsors, expect us to ‘do something’ soon.”

With no clear consensus, the equestrian world waits to see whether the GEF will take meaningful action or just create another vague rule that no one fully understands until someone gets eliminated for it. One thing’s for sure—whatever they decide, no one will be happy.