Welcome to The Carrot Post’s Meet Our Characters page, where the equestrian world gets a playful spin!

Our site is a satirical take on the sport, shining a light on the characters, federations, and organisations that shape the industry—often in ways that make you scratch your head. From the GEF’s ever-evolving rules to the World Equestrian Welfare Organisation’s latest initiatives, we explore it all with humor, not malice. Our goal is to get people talking, uniting, and engaging with the issues in our sport, all while sharing a laugh at the sometimes absurd reality of the equestrian world.

 

Global Equestrian Federation (GEF): The Rule-Makers You Love to Hate

The Global Equestrian Federation (GEF) is the governing body of equestrian sport, proudly enforcing rules, regulations, and rebranding efforts that no one asked for but everyone seems to have to follow. From controlling how tight your noseband can be to determining which new buzzwords are acceptable for Rollkur, GEF’s mission is simple: create confusion and chaos, while maintaining the illusion of order. They're experts at turning controversies into new competitions, often with elaborate rules that only they fully understand. Their motto? “We don’t make the rules, we just make them up as we go.”

 

Alejandro "Alex" Ferreira (BRA) – The Power President of Global Equestrian Sport

A former showjumper turned sports politician, Alejandro Ferreira didn’t just climb the ranks of equestrian governance—he masterminded his way to the top. Hailing from Brazil, he understands both the glamour of the elite circuit and the grit of riders scraping by in developing nations. Now, as president of the global equestrian federation (the GEF), he balances tradition with the relentless pressure for change.

To the public, he’s the smooth-talking diplomat, making grand speeches about progress and unity. Behind closed doors, he’s a strategist, navigating the egos of powerful federations, wealthy sponsors, and riders who all think their discipline matters most. Critics say he’s too polished, too political, but Alex doesn’t care—he knows that in this world, survival means staying three moves ahead.

World Equestrian Welfare Organisation (WEWO): Protecting Horses, Annoying Everyone Else

The World Equestrian Welfare Organisation (WEWO) is the self-appointed guardian of horse welfare, tirelessly battling poor riding, questionable training methods, and whatever the latest FEI rule change is supposed to achieve. Known for exposing scandals, lobbying for stricter welfare standards, and ruining the day of at least one elite rider per week, WEWO prides itself on being both feared and ignored in equal measure. Their motto? “Because someone has to care.”

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WEWO’s CEO—  Dr. Leila Al-Farsi (UAE) – The Relentless Horse Welfare Advocate

Raised in the heart of the Middle East’s equestrian culture, Dr. Leila Al-Farsi grew up surrounded by Arabian horses, their beauty matched only by their fragility. A veterinarian by training, she built her reputation exposing abuses in the racing, endurance, and sport horse industries, earning both admiration and powerful enemies.

Now the head of the world’s leading equine welfare organization (the WEWO), she is a force to be reckoned with. Tireless, uncompromising, and utterly devoted to the horse, she battles against overbreeding, doping, and neglect, standing firm against billionaires and backyard owners alike.

Some call her radical. Others call her the only one willing to say what needs to be said. Leila doesn’t care—she only answers to the horses.

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Maximilian "Max" Van Dijk (NED) – The Ice-Cold Showjumper

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Cool under pressure and ruthless in the ring, Max Van Dijk rides like he has nothing to prove—because he doesn’t. Born into Dutch equestrian royalty, he’s been winning since ponies and expects nothing less from himself or his multimillion-euro horses. Precision, power, and perfection are his trademarks; emotion is not.

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To the media, he’s all polished answers and sharp smiles, revealing just enough to keep sponsors happy but never enough to let anyone in. His horses are athletes, not pets, and he treats them like elite business partners—respected, conditioned to perfection, and replaced if they don’t deliver. Critics call him cold. Max calls it winning.

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Raphaël Dubois (FRA) – The Endurance Hopeful

 

With a wiry frame built for the long haul and an unshakable determination, Raphaël Dubois is France’s next great endurance star—if his horses and his luck hold out. Raised in the saddle by parents who spent more time on the trails than in their own home, he was trotting 40km loops before most kids could ride a bike.

 

Now in his early 20s, he’s clawing his way through the ranks, balancing university coursework with 5 a.m. training rides and endless hours conditioning his Anglo-Arab partner, Sultan. He idolizes France’s endurance legends, dreams of senior team selection, and lives off cheap espresso and the promise of future glory. He’s too busy to think about relationships, but the right girl—someone who understands the thrill of the gallop—might just change that.

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Helga Müller (GER) – The Dressage Powerhouse

 

Perfection is not an aspiration for Helga Müller—it is the only option. Ranked among the top 20 dressage riders in the world, she is the embodiment of German discipline, forged in the crucible of early mornings, aching muscles, and relentless ambition.

 

She started with nothing but a second-hand Warmblood and a dream, clawing her way up through sheer grit and an unshakable belief in tradition. Helga swears by the double bridle, side reins, and the sacred geometry of the 20m circle. She has no patience for bitless trends, barefoot nonsense, or anyone who doesn’t know the difference between a working trot and a proper collected gait. Her horses are immaculately trained, her boots are always polished, and her smile is rare—but when it appears, it means business.

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Felicity Lloyd-Knight (GBR) – The Blue-Blooded Eventer

 

Bred for champagne breakfasts and three-day events, Felicity Lloyd-Knight has been galloping towards the altar—and the Badminton podium—since she could toddle in jodhpurs. The daughter of a fox-hunting dynasty, she spent her childhood flitting between Pony Club rallies and her parents’ grand hunt balls, where eligible bachelors were eyed up with as much scrutiny as four-star horses.

 

Now in her early 30s, she’s still galloping around the world’s toughest courses, waiting for a husband to appear in the form of a dashing eventing star, a charming landowner, or at the very least, a minor royal. Until then, she’ll keep flying over fences at breakneck speed, occasionally pausing for a flute of Veuve Clicquot before walking the cross-country course.

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Bruce "Bruiser" Callaghan (AUS) – The Uncompromising Riding Coach

 

If you ask Bruce Callaghan when he last saw a chiropractor, he’ll grunt something about "back in the ‘80s, when I got kicked by a rogue stock horse." Tough as old leather and about as flexible, Bruiser grew up mustering cattle in the outback before moving into eventing, then coaching. He’s seen it all, from spoiled pony club brats to Olympic hopefuls, and he’s unimpressed by both.

 

He despises soft hands, soft riders, and soft ideas. Whispering to horses? Load of rubbish. Barefoot dressage? Absolute nonsense. "You wanna win? You work for it," he growls at students while making them drop their stirrups for an entire lesson. His own horses go in simple snaffles and rock-hard muscles, and if you complain about his methods, he’ll tell you to find another coach—preferably one with a "bloody crystal collection and a unicorn tattoo."

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Luna Skye (USA) – The Bunny Hugger

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With pastel-coloured breeches, a mane of unbrushed hair, and a TikTok account dedicated to "revolutionizing horse care," Luna Skye is the modern horse world’s loudest advocate for all things bitless, barefoot, and brimming with feelings. Raised in California by free-spirited parents who believed in chakras and carrot-stick training, she never outgrew her love of ponies—or the idea that traditional equestrianism is a cruel relic of the past.

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Now in her mid-20s, Luna has built a dedicated following, championing everything from treeless saddles to "emotional consent training." She preaches that competition is outdated, traditional bits are medieval torture devices, and no horse should be asked to work unless they feel emotionally ready. Her own rescue Mustang, Starbeam, has never worn shoes, never been in a stall, and sometimes chooses not to be ridden at all. Luna sees this as progress. Others see it as a reason to quietly avoid her at the barn.

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László Báthory (HUN) - Crazy Carriage Driver

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With a battered felt hat, a moustache worthy of a Hussar, and a wolfish grin, László Báthory is Hungary’s most notorious carriage driver. Born into a family of horsemen who claim descent from the great Mátyás Király’s cavalry, he handles his warmbloods with effortless charm—and a complete disregard for speed limits.

 

László is equally at home sweeping tourists through Budapest’s cobbled streets or charging across the puszta at a full gallop, flask of pálinka in one hand, reins in the other. He has a talent for whispered flirtations, a deep mistrust of automobiles, and a reputation for turning up at village festivals with a different admirer on his arm each time.

 

A rogue, a rider, and a hopeless romantic, László lives for the crack of the whip, the thunder of hooves, and the thrill of the chase—on and off the carriage.

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Sarah "Saz" Mitchell (UK) – The Battle-Hardened Yard Owner

 

Running a livery yard wasn’t the dream—it was just what Sarah Mitchell was good at. Years of 5 a.m. mucking out, dodging unpaid invoices, and mediating ridiculous livery disputes have turned her into an expert in both horse care and human patience (though the latter is wearing thin).

 

She juggles rising feed prices, endless vet bills, and owners who think their horse should live on air and vibes. She’s seen it all—over-rugged ponies, DIY liveries who can’t manage a haynet, and clients who disappear when the farrier invoice arrives. She swears she’ll sell up one day, but deep down, she knows she won’t. Because despite the stress, the cold, and the constant overdraft, this is her world—and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

Lena Novak (CZE) – The Gravity-Defying Voltige Star

 

Lena Novak doesn’t just ride—she flies. A Czech vaulting sensation, she’s spent her life flipping, twisting, and balancing on galloping horses with the grace of a gymnast and the nerves of a stuntwoman.

 

She thrives on adrenaline, training relentlessly to push the limits of what’s possible. The bruises, the falls, the hours of strength work—none of it matters when she nails a perfect freestyle. She doesn’t just want to win; she wants to make people gasp. Traditional riders call her sport a circus act. Lena just smiles—because she knows they could never do what she does.

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Other characters:

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Kate Robinson (UK) – The World-Weary Happy Hacker

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Kate Robinson has been around horses long enough to remember when nobody argued about bits and shoes, and people just rode. In her younger years, she competed in a bit of everything—showjumping, eventing, even a few dodgy hunting days—but now, in her 40s, she’s happiest meandering through the countryside on her sturdy cob, dodging overexcited cyclists and ignoring dressage riders who think hacking is pointless.

 

She watches the endless online battles between barefoot evangelists, gadget lovers, and "natural horsemanship" devotees with tired amusement. The horse world used to be about riding, not arguing. Now, everyone has an opinion, and most of them are annoying. Kate just sighs, throws on a GP saddle, and rides off into the sunset—because at the end of the day, it’s about enjoying the horse, not proving a point.

 

Emily Carter (UK) – The Pony-Mad Teenager

 

Emily Carter lives, breathes, and dreams of ponies. At 14, she spends every spare minute at the yard, mucking out in exchange for extra riding time and memorizing every detail of her favorite showjumpers. Her own pony, a cheeky 14.2hh Connemara called Biscuit, is her best friend, partner-in-crime, and occasional frustration.

 

She scrolls TikTok for riding inspo, argues passionately about whether long boots are cooler than jodhpur boots, and secretly hopes to be the next big thing in showjumping—if only Biscuit would stop refusing at fillers. School is just a place to count down the hours until she’s back at the yard, because as far as Emily’s concerned, real life happens in the saddle.

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Isabella Rinaldi (ITA) - The Wealthy Amateur

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Born into old-money elegance, Isabella Rinaldi took up riding in her 30s as a "serious passion"—which mostly involves importing expensive warmbloods and having her trainer school them. She loves dressage but loathes sweating, so she focuses on "developing a partnership" rather than actual competition results. Her custom boots cost more than most people’s cars, and her Instagram is full of posed arena shots with deep, introspective captions.

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Jesse Carter (USA, Texas) - The Western Rider

 

A ranch kid turned reining competitor, Jesse Carter believes English saddles are for "city folk" and that any horse worth its salt should neck rein, spin on a dime, and stand ground-tied for hours. He speaks in short, measured words and can back a trailer better than most people can drive forward. Not impressed by big-money sports, but will tip his hat to anyone who rides well, regardless of discipline.

 

Aya Nakamura (JPN) - The Equestrian Instagram Influencer

 

With a meticulously curated feed, perfectly coordinated matchy-matchy outfits, and a sponsorship deal with every equestrian brand imaginable, Aya Nakamura has turned horse life into an aesthetic. She rarely competes, but her horses are always immaculately turned out for their latest photoshoot. A pro at slow-motion canter reels, she believes deeply in "manifesting success"—though her grooms do most of the actual work.

 

Margaret "Maggie" O’Connor (AUS) - The Horse Rescue Crusader

 

Tough as nails and fuelled by righteous anger, Maggie O’Connor has turned horse rescue into a personal war. She has a paddock full of rescue cases, each with a harrowing backstory, and believes that every horse can be rehabilitated if given enough time and love. Fiercely anti-competition, pro-barefoot, and always ready to start an online petition against something.

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Debbie Masters (USA) - The Overenthusiastic Pony Club Mum

 

Debbie doesn’t ride, but she knows horses—or at least, she thinks she does. Armed with a stopwatch, a thermos of coffee, and a laser focus on her child’s success, she micromanages every detail of her daughter’s Pony Club career. The judges are biased, the cross-country course was unfair, and don’t even start on the cost of pony saddles these days. Secretly dreams of her daughter making the U.S. Olympic team and will never accept second place.

 

Paddy O’Sullivan (IRE) - The world weary Racehorse Trainer

 

A man of few words and even fewer smiles, Paddy O’Sullivan has spent a lifetime battling bad weather, bad owners, and worse luck. Up at 4 a.m., he paces the gallops with a mug of tea in one hand and a rolled-up Racing Post in the other. His horses eat top-quality oats while he lives on black coffee and sheer determination. Racing is a hard game, but he’s in it for life—because what else would he do?

 

Bridget "Bridie" McKenna (NZL) - The Riding School Instructor

 

Bridie has taught generations of kids how to post the trot and survive their first fall. Her lesson ponies are saints (mostly), her patience is infinite (mostly), and she still finds joy in seeing a nervous beginner finally canter. She knows she’ll never get rich running a riding school, but she wouldn’t swap it for anything - except maybe a week off and a foot massage!

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Karen Dupont (CAN) - The Backyard 'everything on a shoestring' Breeder

 

Karen is convinced that her homebred colt—by an unproven stallion and out of a mare she got for cheap—is destined for the Olympics. She breeds for "color and personality," ignores conformation flaws, and thinks bloodlines are overrated. Regularly posts about "haters" who don’t believe in her horses’ potential.

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